


I Wish I Could Quit You

by joonswig



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas Fluff, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Movie Reference, Mutual Pining, Romantic Comedy, Seo Changbin is Whipped, Soft Seo Changbin, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, changbin is an indie solo artist, dont read if you hate happy gays being soft, felix is confused but he doesnt mind, god i really said save the gays with this one, its a romcom au btw, its so cliche it hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-09-28 00:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17172032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joonswig/pseuds/joonswig
Summary: Changbin flirts with Felix through romantic comedy references for four months.





	I Wish I Could Quit You

**Author's Note:**

> henlo! 
> 
> i dont have much to say for once, but happy holidays to anyone who celebrates things. 
> 
> list of referenced movies:  
> 1\. notting hill  
> 2\. love actually  
> 3\. pretty woman  
> 4\. 10 things i hate about you  
> 5\. love simon  
> 6\. the barbecue sauce on my titties vine  
> 7\. while you were sleeping  
> 8\. he's just not that into you  
> 9\. as good as it gets  
> 10\. sleepless it seattle  
> 11\. romancing the stone  
> 12\. dirty dancing  
> 13\. to all the boys ive loved before  
> 14\. titanic??  
> 15\. and title from brokeback mountain but only the title
> 
> all of them have some sort of twist pleaSE dont sue me richard curtis

He hasn't seen Changbin for a week. 

 

It's fine. Felix is okay with that. He doesn't mind it at all when he texts Changbin in the morning, asking if he wants to hang out to receive an "I'm busy :/" in the evening. He's content with the last time he's seen the older being Minho's party, where he wasn't sober enough to fully appreciate his friend. 

 

He must say he's relieved to hear Changbin is coming to the hang out at Minho's. He dresses extra nice that day, wears the flannel shirt the older said he looked good in once. Minho greets him with a hug. 

 

"Lixie! You look cute!" he ruffles his hair affectionately. 

 

"Do I?" He smiles, excitedly. 

 

"You always do," Minho pinches his cheek and lets him in. Jisung and Seungmin are already inside. 

 

"Uh, is anyone else coming?"

 

"Changbin is on his way, if that's what you're asking," Jisung stifles a laugh at Seungmin's words. 

 

"Oh, shut your trick ass up," Felix retorts, "I just haven't seen him in a while."

 

"Does anyone even know why he went M.I.A.?" Minho asks from the couch. "He said he was busy but school doesn't start until next week."

 

"Dunno," Jisung shrugs, "perhaps it's family stuff."

 

"Nah, Hyunjin said he didn't leave their place once," Seungmin points out, "it's pretty weird, even for Changbin."

 

Before they can continue, a loud rapping on the door interrupts them. Changbin walks in, his hair parted on the side and a black tank top thrown on. He looks normal, but something about him seems, _feels_ different. 

 

"Yo," he says curtly, dropping down next to Felix. He's oddly quiet, a bit sullen but not quite it. 

 

"What were you up to?" Felix asks, "I was worried..."

 

There's a warm flicker in Changbin's eye. He moves closer and throws his arm over Felix's shoulder, "s'fine. Nothing big, don't you worry about me." He doesn't move his hand away. 

 

The atmosphere grows tense for a second, until Minho tells Felix to help him prepare the drinks, while he gets the snacks. He reluctantly shuffles away from Changbin and grabs the glasses from the cupboard. 

 

"Let me help you," Changbin offers from behind him, standing a little closer than he usually would. He grabs the coke and pours it into each glass. 

 

"So," he nudges Felix, "what were you up to?"

 

"Nothing much, I was watching random shit," he replies, offhandedly. 

 

"Like what?"

 

Richard Curtis’s filmography seems like an embarrassing answer, "just, y'know, random films on Netflix."

 

Changbin sees right through him, “cried at the bookstore scene?”

 

“I always do,” Felix admits, taking both of their glasses to the table. Minho lays out bowls and fills them up with Lays. 

 

“It’s cute, can’t blame you,” Changbin plops down on the couch and pats the place next to him. Felix sits down, presses into the older’s side. It’s warm and Felix fits there just right and he might have missed Changbin a bit too much. 

 

“Since when do you like ‘Notting Hill’, Changbin?” Minho questions, eyebrow raised. Seungmin and Jisung both snigger, as if it’s some inside joke Felix doesn’t get.

 

Changbin clears his throat, “Lix made me watch it once. It wasn’t _that_ bad.”

 

“Inch resting,” Jisung remarks, lips pursed to conceal laughter.

 

Felix tilts his head upwards and giggles at the glare Changbin is giving the younger. His eyes soften when he meets Felix’s, though, which makes his heart race a little. 

 

“Changbin had to hug me for the rest of the evening, I always get so emotional when she confesses to him,” he tells them. 

 

“No wonder he liked it so much, then,” Minho teases, mouth full of chips. Changbin’s grip around Felix’s shoulder tightens ever so slightly. 

 

“Lix,” Changbin leans in, whispering directly in his ear, “are we still up for study dates? When the school year starts?”

 

The younger nods, “sure! By the way, can we meet up tomorrow? Not to study, just to hang out.”

 

“Missed me?” Changbin pokes his stomach. 

 

_A lot_ , “a little.”

 

“Cool, I’d love to,” not that Felix is complaining, but Changbin’s breath is ghosting the shell of his ear. He doesn’t know why his friend is so touchy today, more so than usual, more _bold._

 

What he doesn’t know then, is that it’s just the beginning. He learns that the following day. He is waiting for Changbin in the KFC near the dorms. The older is late, which is unusual, but to Felix’s relief, stumbles in after twenty minutes of him waiting. 

 

“You’re late,” Felix says, rather bitterly, since Changbin could have texted him if he was running late. 

 

“You’re stunning,” Changbin comments, like it’s a normal thing to say to your bro while getting lunch. There’s something oddly sincere about his voice though, as if he means it. Felix gapes and shakes his head. 

 

“Pardon?”

 

“You’re stunning,” Changbin repeats, bringing his fried chicken closer, “am I forgiven?” 

 

It takes Felix a hot second to realise that Changbin is quoting Richard Geere. From across the table, his friend seems to be enjoying lunch, unfazed by just how shaken up the younger is. 

 

“Yeah, uh, sure,” he sips his drink, trying to cool down, “what’s with you?”

 

“I don’t know, you tell me,” Changbin grins, “you have barbecue sauce on your cheek.”

 

Before Felix can embarrass himself by replying with something along the lines of _“at least not on my titties”,_

Changbin grabs a tissue and rubs it off, a soft smile playing on his lips. This is too much for Felix’s poor heart that makes its presence known, thumping loudly in his chest. 

 

He starts getting used to it, gradually. The school year starts without a hitch, his schedule allowing him and Changbin to meet up for study sessions regularly. Sometimes the older makes a remark that makes his heart flip or his jaw drop, but it is at acceptable levels. Acceptable meaning Felix has yet to have an ambulance haul him off to an ICU. 

 

“Lix,” Changbin interrupts his reading one day. He’s leaned back in his chair, dishevelled hair framing his face prettily, “are you busy on your birthday?”

 

“No, I don’t think so,” he shakes his head, “I’m having lunch with Chan, but other than that, I’m free.”

 

“I’m playing a gig in this one bar,” Changbin plays with the pencil in his hand, nonchalantly, “wanna come? I can sing you a song or something? My slot is like, half hour or something, so we can hang there afterwards. Or come home and watch Camp Rock, your pick.”

 

“I’d love to come!” Felix is excited, since the idea of hearing Changbin sing with his lovely voice and watching the older play the guitar, dressed all cool and punk-ish makes him weak. “We can stay there, I haven’t been out dancing in a while.”

 

“Nice,” Changbin nods, biting on his bottom lip, “I like it when you dance.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah, it’s just…” he pauses, as if trying to figure out how to word it properly, “you look happy, alive. It works like a mirror, I think, ‘coz I look at you and I feel the same.”

 

“Happy?”

 

“Happy, alive. All the good things. I’ve missed watching you dance,” Changbin smiles to himself, “I’m gonna have to go soon. I’ll text you the address.” 

 

“Sure,” he waves goodbye. Changbin’s words linger for the rest of the evening, successfully distracting him from further studies. 

 

They are still at the back of his head when he steps inside the bar several days past, looking around him warily. He spots Changbin setting up the amplifier on the stage. Their eyes meet and Felix melts at the smile that instantly appears on the older’s face. 

 

“Uh,” Changbin speaks into the microphone, “so, before I start the usual set, there’s this one song I wanted to cover. It’s a special day today, so I thought it was suitable. Happy birthday.”

 

The chords are familiar, but Felix is too focused on how gorgeous Changbin looks in the limelight to realise what song it is until he hears the first verse. 

 

_“You’re just too good to be true,”_ Changbin has the loveliest voice. It’s smooth and gentle, wrapping Felix in a warm hug, making him feel at home, _“I can’t take my eyes off you.”_

 

Felix covers his mouth with his hand, trying to conceal the surprised beam. Changbin looks up from the guitar to focus on the younger, fondness in his eyes, _“at long last love has arrived, and I thank God I’m alive.”_

 

After his set is done, Changbin jumps off the stage and joins Felix in the corner. He leans against the wall, the fondness not seeming to dissipate. 

 

“How did you like it?” he asks, leaning closer so that Felix could hear him through the noise. 

 

“Loved it,” he can’t find the power to conceal just how emotional it made him. He pulls Changbin into a tight hug, "thank you so much."

 

"Anything for you," Changbin tells him. "Now, go off and dance."

 

"Dance with me," Felix pouts, sticking out his hand that Changbin immediately links with his own. He looks reluctant to go with Felix, though. 

 

"I'd better stay," he shakes his head, "not much of a dancer."

 

"It's my birthday," Felix musters the most pitiful expression and marvels at the speed at which Changbin's façade crumbles. 

 

"Okay, okay, I'll dance with you," he grins as Felix squeals, pulling him towards the crowd. He is far from a bad dancer. In fact, Felix would rather dance with Changbin for the rest of the night. 

 

It occurs to him, like an epiphany long overdue, a month or so later that Changbin was pulling romcom references on him. 

 

"Hyunjin," he asks, "does Changbin like romcoms?"

 

He looks surprised and a little confused, "not that I know of, no. Are you gonna ask him out?"

 

"Yeah, as if I had the balls," Felix snorts, "no, it's just...he started acting all weird some time ago."

 

"What do you mean?" The younger asks, looking all too curious about the new gossip. 

 

"He's saying and doing all those things and I just realised they're, like, romcom easter eggs? Does he do it with you, too?" Hyunjin only laughs in response. 

 

"Let me get this straight, he does romantic stuff for you and you're asking me if it's a general thing he does for his pals?" 

 

"Something like that."

 

"No, it's just you."

 

"Why though?" 

 

Hyunjin sighs, "gee, I wonder. You're special to him, I guess."

 

Felix nods in understanding, "that's nice of him, going all out for a friend, just because I love romcoms."

 

Hyunjin looks like he has something to say, but a notification from the groupchat interrupts them. 

 

**_Jeongin_ **

_I hate Changbim :(((_

 

**_Woojin_ **

_omg whats wrong ill kill him_

 

**_Jeongin_ **

_he wont watch starstruck with me :(((_

 

_lol he likes starstruck tho_

 

**_Jisung_**

_omg omw to slaughter him_

_lol no bin hates good movies_

_tried getting him to watcj hsm with me on new years and bitch said hed rathee choke_

 

**_Minho_ **

_omg i hope he does_

 

**_Seungmin_ **

_does cb deserve rights? Be honest_

 

**_Hyunjin_**

_no_

 

**_Minho_ **

_no_

 

**_Woojin_ **

_no_

 

**_Changbin_ **

_no_

_omf_

_[vine woman voice] it’s mY OPINION_

 

_no im serious we love starstruck_

_we watched it together like a billion times_

_tell them binnie :(_

 

**_Jeongin_ **

_i don’t think you have the right to speak_

 

**_Changbin_ **

_he does_

 

**_Jisung_ **

_not on this matter he doesn’t_

 

He gets a private text from Changbin soon after.

 

_it’s just different with you_

 

“Why are you smiling?” Hyunjin says. Felix beckons him to read the text.

 

_how_

 

_i enjoy this kinda shit when we watch it tgt_

_other than that, not so much_

 

_so im an exception_

_?_

 

_you’re my exception_

 

“Holy shit…” Hyunjin shakes his head in disbelief, “he’s _bold_ bold. Oh, fuck, you’re all blushy, this is so adorable!”

 

Felix groans, lets his cheek be pinched away for the remainder of the afternoon. 

 

He isn’t as big of a fan of Halloween as he should be, probably, but he loves the Halloween Oreos. Especially that Changbin has now developed the new habit of always bringing some for the both of them to snack on while studying. 

 

“They’re my favourite,” Changbin tells him, mouth full.

 

“Mhm,” Felix agrees, “they’re just _too_ good, this is _so_ unfair.”

 

Changbin sticks out his arm to hand him another one, which Felix eagerly takes. 

 

“Binnie?” He asks. “Weren’t you gonna get a tattoo, on your wrist?”

 

“Oh, yeah, I was,” Changbin confirms, “but maybe a little later. I started donating blood, recently? And I wouldn’t be able to do it for like, a year if I remember correctly? I’d have to get it outside New York and do I have the time to go to, I don’t know, Delaware? Not really.”

 

Felix nods, “that’s…oddly sweet. I didn’t know you did that.”

 

“I do it for the chocolate,” the older jokes, “no, but in all seriousness, I used to not care about that kinda stuff, but I started sometime in the summer.”

 

“You’re a good guy, Binnie.”

 

“You make me wanna be a better one, Lix,” Changbin whispers, “now, do your work. I’ll feel guilty if our study dates always end up in me distracting you.”

 

“You don’t distract me,” Felix says, a little too defensively. “You don’t distract me,” he repeats, as if he hasn’t made a point before. 

 

He loves studying with Changbin. The older makes sure to help him, pats his head affectionately when Felix gets what he was struggling with. Just his presence alone is enough to make him feel at peace. His favourite part about their meet ups, though, is when Changbin occasionally offers to walk him home. 

 

It’s late November when they exit the campus library, only to be greeted with an ice coated entrance. Changbin tests it out, slowly stepping onto the surface, but his leg slips and Felix has to hold his arm to help him steady himself. 

 

“Fuck, it’s really slippery,” he sighs. 

 

“Let me try,” Felix says, grabbing a railing and gradually making his way down the stairs. Once he reaches the bottom, he sticks out his hand, beckoning for Changbin to follow. Somehow, midway he ends up slipping again, dragging both of them to the ground. 

 

“God, we’re pathetic,” Felix giggles, “I don’t think we’re getting up soon.”

 

“Let’s just crawl,” Changbin suggests, pushing himself forward. Felix follows suit, bursting out laughing at how idiotic they must look. 

 

Back on their feet, Changbin grabs his hand as they walk down the street, mumbling something about necessary precautions. To Felix’s delight, snow accompanies them on their way. Ever since he moved from Sydney a few years back, he finds one of the most enjoyable things about New York to be how pretty it looks in the winter, after the first snowfall. He’s all too disappointed when they have to get on the train that will take them to Long Island. 

 

“Hey,” Changbin says suddenly, “wanna get out at Lincoln?”

 

“Why?”

 

“We could go to Sunnyside Gardens,” he suggests, “I’ve never been there.”

 

“Yeah, no shit, isn’t it private?” Felix reminds him. Changbin doesn’t seem to care much about that.

 

“We can still go there,” he shrugs. 

 

“You want us to trespass?” Felix asks, scandalised. 

 

“It’s unfair that only residents get to go there,” Changbin sniffs, “smells like capitalism. I hate capitalism.”

 

“Everyone hates capitalism,” he replies, “I’ll go with you, then.”

 

It’s a bit of a walk from the station, but it’s a pretty neighbourhood, so Felix doesn’t mind. Sneaking inside proves to be easier than they had expected, with only one rusty fence guarding the park. They both climb over it without much of a struggle. Felix squeals in delight at the sight of a football pitch completely covered in a thick layer of snow. 

 

As any normal nineteen year old, he drops down, making snow angels.

 

“Lixie, get up, you’re gonna get sick,” Changbin’s voice is far too fond to sound chastising. 

 

“No, I won’t,” he says, stubbornly, taking Changbin’s hand and pulling him down to the ground with him, “it’s fun.”

 

“It’s freezing,” the older scrunches his nose, but laughs along with Felix. He grabs a handful of snow and smashes it against Felix’s chest. The boy declares war and chases Changbin across the pitch, throwing snowballs at him. 

 

When they’re both breathless and decide on a truce, they find themselves swinging on the slightly run down playground, hand in hand.

 

“I thought a private park would be more…” Changbin pauses, “…impressive?”

 

“We can go to Gramercy next time,” Felix suggests, “I bet it’s all posh like Notting Hill.”

 

“Next time,” Changbin nods, “it would be so nice to go to London. I’d take you there, if I had the money.”

 

“I always wanted to go there. And to California, not like L.A., but you know, the cool California,” he doesn’t think he’s making much sense, but the older understands him nonetheless.

 

“I’ll take you all around the world one day,” he squeezes Felix’s hand, “I promise you we’ll do that.”

 

“Which one’s it from?” Felix asks out of nowhere.

 

“Which one what?”

 

“I don’t recognise the quote,” he explains, “unless it’s just you.”

 

“It’s ‘Romancing the Stone’,” Changbin admits, “but I do mean it.”

 

“I know you do,” Felix brushes his thumb against Changbin’s knuckles, “how do you even know all those movies? We’ve never watched them together.”

 

“Let me take you home,” Changbin says softly, “I’ll tell you someday.”

 

Felix doesn’t want to be force him into anything, so he just snuggles closer into Changbin’s chest, enjoying the warmth, “okay. Take me home.”

 

“I changed my mind,” Changbin nudges him, “nice garden.”

 

Things seem to pacify with the onset of December and the handful of exams both of them need to prepare for, as well as the Christmas season with the need of preparing something for friends and family. He gets all of the boys a small, handmade gifts for Christmas, leaves them all in their lockers on the last day before winter break. Changbin catches him on the corridor once he’s done. 

 

“Hey,” he leans against the wall. He looks painfully pretty doing so, “I wanted to give back your book. Thanks a lot, by the way.”

 

Changbin was doing a course that Felix had last semester, so he borrowed the older the textbook, “no problem, Binnie. Used it well?”

 

“Yeah, I made some notes, but only on like, post-its, so you can take them out whenever,” he smiles, “thanks again, you saved my broke ass.”

 

“It’s fine.”

 

“Also, I was thinking, tomorrow’s the 23rd?”

 

“Indeed,” Felix confirms. 

 

“Are you busy? With Christmas and all? I know you’re gonna spend, like, actual Christmas with your family, but I wanted to, you know, give you your gift and all,” he suggests and who is Felix to deny him?  


“Sure, uh, where are we gonna go?”

 

“Surprise,” Changbin dismisses him, “I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”

 

When he opens the book, back at home, he finds notes Changbin must have taken during their study dates. Some are random thoughts, some are comments about the syllabus or diagrams, but most often, it’s a comment about how pretty Felix looks, or how lovely his smile is. 

 

_thought you were only going for classics_

 

_tatbilb /is/ a classic_

_i feel feelings for noah centineo_

 

_should i be jealous_

 

_no, nc wishes he were you_

 

_‘welcome home cheater’_

 

_shut up you have a crush on colin firth of all people_

 

_stan the real mr darcy_

 

The following day, even once they’re out of the train, Felix doesn’t know where exactly Changbin is leading him. They follow 3rd Avenue until they reach what Felix reckons to be a hotel of some sort.

 

“They have a rooftop deck bar,” Changbin explains, “I’d take you to Empire State for convenience, but it will be much too crowded, so I found this. Not as spectacular, but.”

 

“It’s great,” Felix grins, “it’ll be pretty.”

 

It is, absolutely stunning. He feels like he’s suspended midair, leaning across the handlebars. Changbin has his hand around his back, as if to protect him. 

 

“It’s kinda like Titanic,” he remarks.

 

“Didn’t plan on that,” Changbin replies, “I’d much rather you didn’t stand too close to the edge, actually.”

 

“You’re here, though,” Felix says, the _‘I’m safe’_ unspoken, “did you like the candle?”

 

“I love it,” Changbin tells him earnestly, “I have it on my desk and I told Hyunjin if he touches it, he’s dead. It’s so pretty.”

 

Felix decorated it with lyrics from songs he knows Changbin likes, that he either recommended Felix or those they discovered together. Although it’s scented lavender, a smell Changbin loves, the older vowed to never light it up. 

 

“I have your gift, too,” he digs out a box from his bag, “it’s not handmade, but it fits the concept.”

 

Felix opens it eagerly to reveal the exact same teddy bear Meg Ryan brought in ‘Sleepless in Seattle’. He laughs to himself, taking it out and hugging it to his chest. 

 

“I love him! He’s so adorable, oh my God, you’re such a good—” he doesn’t know how to finish, as ‘friend’ feels out of place, but ‘boyfriend’ doesn’t cut it either, “—gift giver.”

 

“I’m glad you like him,” Changbin pats his shoulder, “Merry Christmas!”

 

“He’s my baby,” Felix announces, tugging its little arms happily, “God, thank you so much. I love Christmas and I’m so glad I get to do it properly at least with one person.”

 

“Aren’t you gonna spend it with your family?” Changbin asks, confused.

 

“I am,” Felix sighs, “it’s just that…ever since we moved here, my parents are set on us being the perfect family, right? So we invite my mom’s brother and we always have to dress up and be stiff and sit silent while he’s making racist and homophobic jokes.”

 

Changbin looks concerned, “why didn’t you say anything?”

 

“It’s just that…I know you have it worse. I have my family with me on Christmas, right, that’s nice. I didn’t want to sound ungrateful,” he confesses. Changbin hasn’t contacted his parents ever since he changed his major to music production and ditched Business Management. 

 

“Hey, it’s fine. One, I don’t even celebrate Christmas, atheist rights and all. I like giving you guys gifts, but, like, I’m don’t have much sentiment for it. As for my parents, yeah, they suck. And from what I hear, yours do, too, to an extent. It’s okay to have your own issues,” Changbin explains, playing with Felix’s fingers. “I’m doing fine, I have a job, I have a scholarship, I have my friends and I have you. At least I can do whatever I want.”

 

Felix nods, “it sounds nice, you know? I’d love to celebrate Christmas with people I’m actually close with. And wear ugly Christmas sweaters. And drink eggnog. And eat fried chicken.”

 

“I think I get the gist,” Changbin cuts him off, “we can do it next year, if your mom lets you. Just tell me and I’ll be ready.”

 

Felix rests his head on the older boy’s shoulder, watching the skyline of buildings glimmer in the distance, “why are you doing all this?”

 

“Doing what?”

 

“Being so good to me,” he whispers. 

 

“It’s what you deserve,” Changbin answers, as though it’s obvious. 

 

“What about the romcom thing?”

 

Changbin is silent for a second and Felix worries he shouldn’t have brought it up so soon. 

 

“They’re not my favourite movies,” he begins, “but they’re useful. I’m not the best at…expressing how I feel about people. And in a way, they teach me how to show people how much I care about…said people. So I know what to say, so that it doesn’t sound awkward, or bad. I don’t wanna risk being misunderstood.”

 

“I see,” Felix needs a while to process it.

 

“It’s ironic, I think. ‘Coz I write lyrics, but I can’t write about…the people I care about. I can’t put it into words, without it sounding weird or lame. I tried to write about those people, but it never worked out,” Changbin laughs, wryly. “So, I struggle to write lyrics for an entire evening, just to see Richard Curtis upstage me in a matter of seconds.”

 

“His power is beyond us,” Felix jokes, “it’s odd, I guess. But I know how it feels, I could never draw you.”

 

Changbin splutters, “oh.”

 

“I couldn’t get it right, for some reason. I don’t think it can live up to the real thing,” he confesses. 

 

“Fucking love being conventional artists,” Changbin chuckles, inaudibly, “at least we’re in this together. I wish I could let you have a Christmas you deserve. Nobody puts Felix in the corner.”

 

Felix bursts out laughing and pulls Changbin into a tight hug, “you already made my Christmas great. I can even survive my crappy relatives.”

 

He spoke too soon. On the 25th, he finds himself cursing his family. With the looks on his sisters’ faces, he reckons they, too, are going through a lot. The door bell rings in the middle of dinner like a blessing, interrupting his Uncle’s anecdote. 

 

"Felix, be a dear," his mom said, quickly returning to the conversation with his uncle. He quickly sets off to the door, grateful that he can catch a break from his family. 

 

When he opens the door, he is startled by the sight of Changbin holding a CD player and a bunch of cardboard rectangles tucked under his arm. His cheeks are rosy in the cold and Felix fights the urge to zip the older's coat up. He has the most hideous Christmas sweater Felix has ever seen on and if that’s not the perfect man, Felix doesn’t know who is. 

 

"Be quiet," he mouths, showing him the first sign that says, " _Tell them it's the carollers_."

 

Felix smiles widely. He knows where this one's from, "Mom, it's the carol singers. I'll come back in a second!"

 

Changbin puts the record on and Silent Night blares loud enough for Felix's family to be convinced. He puts the first sign onto the ground, revealing another one that says, " _I may not celebrate Christmas._ "

 

Felix nods for him to continue. 

 

" _But I know one thing._ "

 

"What?" he asks. 

 

" _You're supposed to spend it..._ "

 

" _...with people who deserve your love._ "

 

“ _And the people inside? Don't._ "

 

Felix agrees silently. 

 

" _I probably don't either, but at..._ "

 

". _..least I love you properly..._ "

 

Felix gasps. This can’t be real. There’s no way this is real.

 

" _...and to me, you're perfect._ "

 

The last sign is a collage of the pictures of them together over the last year. Felix is frozen in spot, when the song ends and Changbin picks up his things from the ground. 

 

"Merry Christmas," Changbin whispers, giving Felix a small smile, before turning around and making his way down the younger's driveway. Felix finally regains the slightest composure, enough to chase the boy down and stop him. 

 

"Lix, it's freezing! Get back inside or—" Felix cuts him off by pressing his lips to Changbin's own. It's better than he's always imagined it. He doesn't care about how cold it is, or that his family is probably watching with shock from the dinner table. He has Changbin and Changbin loves him. 

 

He pulls away and giggles at Changbin's awestruck expression. 

 

"I need to go," he says. "We'll talk."

 

Changbin kisses him again, "go. You'll get sick."

 

If his mom or uncle noticed anything, they don’t bring it up. Felix notes that he felt warmer outside with Changbin than back home with his family. 

 

In the early morning, he sneaks out of his house, before his mom can stop him and question where he’s going. The dorms are almost empty and the Christmas decorations look more gloomy than festive. With a heavy heart, he takes a deep breath and knocks on Changbin’s door.

 

“Coming!” He hears the boy’s muffled voice. He sounds tired, which is a given, since he’s never been a morning person. Changbin opens the door, rubbing his eyes. His hair is messy and he looks adorable, so much that Felix has to restrain himself from cooing.

 

“Lix?” He sounds confused. 

 

“Did you mean it?”

 

“Mean what?”

 

“When you said you loved me.”

 

Changbin yawns, “why are you here so early to ask me that?”

 

“I need to know for sure!” Felix says petulantly.

 

“You could have come at noon, I look like a mess and you’re, well, _you._ It’s kinda humiliating. Not that I’m not happy to see you, I love seeing you,” Changbin quickly retracts. 

 

“I know you went all out, but I have to know. I’m just a guy, standing in front of, well, another guy — why are all good romcoms straight? Anyways, I’m just a guy, standing in front of a guy, asking him to love him,” Felix recites, watching as Changbin grins sleepily. 

 

“You don’t have to ask,” he answers, “I’ve been in love with you for the past year or so.”

 

“You love me,” he marvels, “you really love me.”

 

“Indeed, that’s the queso.”

 

“Why did you wait so long, then?” Felix asks, accusingly. “I was so confused, I didn’t know why you wouldn’t just ask me out.”

 

“It’s the wait that makes a romcom worth watching,” Changbin tells him, “I treat my role as the brooding male lead very seriously, you know.”

 

Felix giggles, “you love me.”

 

“Are you gonna just keep saying that?” Changbin quips, but his voice is too soft, too fond to pull off acting annoyed.

 

“I love you, too,” Felix tells him, “you’ve had me at hello.”

 

“Now that’s better,” Changbin pulls him inside and kisses him sweetly. “For the record, you’re prettier than Julia Roberts.”

 

“I’m not and we both know it,” Felix says.

 

“You are. Be my boyfriend?”

 

“Yes,” he shrugs, “easy question.”

 

 **BONUS**  
  
_It’s a warm August night, when Changbin finds himself on Minho’s balcony, trying to take a breather from the party. He doesn’t get much rest, as soon after, a piss-drunk Felix stumbles in, a lopsided grin on his face._

 

_“Changbinnie!” he calls out. “There you are!”_

 

_“Hi, Lixie,” he lets the younger lean against him on the bench._

 

_“I’m sad,” the boy sighs. Changbin isn’t surprised by the sudden mood swing._

 

_“What happened?” He humours Felix, who groans._

 

_“Minho is_ so _in love with Jisung.”_

 

_“Isn’t that good?”_

 

_“No, I want to have a boyfriend. Why don’t I have a boyfriend? Why does Minho have a boyfriend and I don’t?!” he slurs pitifully. Changbin laughs at the irony of the situation._

 

_“You want a boyfriend that bad?”_

 

_Felix nods, “I wanna have it like people in the movies. Wanna have someone who looks at me like I’m Julia Roberts.”_

 

_Changbin laughs, Felix really is that oblivious, “you wanna be a romcom female lead?”_

 

_“Mhm,” he mumbles, “‘m sleepy. Gonna sleep.”_

 

_Changbin runs his hand through the younger’s hair, lets him rest his head on his lap and take a nap. The following morning, he rushes back home and watches every romantic film he can find on the internet. A week later, when he meets Felix again, and the boy is lovelier than he’s ever been, he’s assured that the ordeal is worthwhile._

 

_He’s ready to spend their life together._

 

**Author's Note:**

> hello !!! thank you for reading <3 talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/midzyonce)  
> [buy me a ko-fi <3](http://ko-fi.com/joonswig)


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